Recently, I had a talk with my friend. It sparked a discussion that made us think about what sex meant to each of us. We had to look back at our ideas and beliefs and how they came to be. Here’s a look on what was brought up.
As children of Hispanic parents, we were raised in very conservative households. We were raised thinking that sex before marriage was not the right thing for us to do, that it was not moral. We learned that we should protect ourselves, and protect our virginity. Religion was something that we had been exposed to, and had grown to practice (though maybe not to the same extent, or with the exact same beliefs) ourselves. It said that we should remain abstinent until marriage, and that sex was for and with that special someone you married. But, what happens when we are also exposed to other ideas and beliefs?
Sexualization in media and in our society has become a norm. We see and hear about sex in movies, music, social media, and many more things and places. Those norms influenced our ideas and beliefs in different manners.Growing up, the norm was safe. We were guarded from outside influences. Sex was something foreign. As we grew older, we are exposed to a new idea that said that sex was a normal thing, that people do it without any restraints, and without thinking too much about it. Religion was something that was not talked about or really taken into consideration. Sometimes, it was seen as an entirely different subject. Eventually, we started to see that others think about the topic differently, and realize that maybe we do too.
The things we were exposed to with our families and with society can differ tremendously. It was up to us to decide what we thought was right. The result of this decision is a mix of two opposite views that contradict each other greatly. That complicates things. I believe that Morrie Schwartz, an author, explains this contradictory issue the best when he describes a tension of opposites. He says that it is “like a pull on a rubber band,” and that “most of us live somewhere in the middle.” That middle is where you can find my friend and I. We can’t really make up our minds. We are stuck in the middle struggling to embrace both sides.
Through this discussion, I realized that it was okay to question what you think about sex, or really anything else. Peoples views are always changing, and it is okay for your views to change too. Sex can be a tricky subject. One day, you will figure out what it means to you and it is okay if that day is not today.