These last couple of weeks have been quite tough on my heart and brain. Thoughts consume me. They don’t necessarily cause distress, but they do make me question myself constantly. I have been questioning little things like day to day decisions, along with bigger things that really matter to me. I strive to figure out how I feel about certain situations and ideas.
This is college; I want to make my own decisions. I want to be able to make my own mind up about situations and problems. The trouble begins when I start to think about these decisions: how will they affect me, and how can I do these things when I am not completely sure of what I want or what I believe?
Making choices can already be tough. Why make it even more difficult by creating a cloud of doubt over my beliefs and morals? That’s what happening.
My thought bubble is made up of hundred of questions. Some may relate, while others stand alone. The biggest set of questions deal with morals and beliefs. Questioning those beliefs makes up the rest of the plethora of thoughts.
So, what exactly are my questions, and what am I asking myself about them? For one, I question whether I am making these decisions for myself, or for others. Peer pressure is a nasty thing; I fight to abstain from falling into it. Nonetheless, if I am making a decision because of someone else, I question what I am willing to compromise, or if I am even willing to do so in the first place. Also, how do my beliefs come into play when making said compromises? Additionally, I question how I make those choices. I start to wonder what other things I should take into consideration when determining my views on particular subjects.
These things are important, because knowing what I stand for may dictate my choices, and consequently my future. The way we handle this decision making process can benefit us or bring us down. I want what’s best for me, and what’s best for others. I think that we can clear this cloud of doubt when we make our own decisions. So, take your time, think your thoughts over, do what is best for you. This way you know what you stand for, what you believe in. We all have to make decisions; make the one that stands for you.