Crying In Paris

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People around me from every corner of the globe gathered to see this renowned architectural wonder: La Torre Eiffel. I remember hearing their voices. The speakers, dialects, accents, and dress- everything was different and new. The atmosphere of diverse cultures that surrounded us was truly inspiring.

But, it was also overwhelming. My head was hurting, throbbing. It was all too much. The grandness of the situation was hard to fully grasp and handle. Waiting in line seemed endless since there were thousands of people crowded into one space. Everything seemed to surprise me. Was this culture shock? I didn’t think that could happen; I loved this place.

Riding up the escalator was thrilling, though somewhat chilling. I was reaching new heights (literally), and I was fulfilling my biggest dreams. What could go wrong?

Fear overtook my body. Why was I crying? I never cried. Why couldn’t I stop it? It felt as if my brain was not receiving enough oxygen, like I was not in control. The more I thought about it, the worse it became. It felt as if I were taken out of my body and replaced by someone weaker and overly emotional. There did not seem like there would be a way to go back.

My friends were there trying to console me. They were so kind. Their thoughts were for the girl crying in Paris and their simple acts looked like wonder in my eyes. It was calming for me.

Yet, how could they help when they did not understand what was wrong? I couldn’t understand it. Soon after, they left me. I was alone by myself and alone with my thoughts.

When you feel as though nothing has gone right and that nothing will go right, everything seems uncertain. Finding the courage to look around the city was a task, but it was one I conquered.  And what a sight it was! As I looked around, I was amazed by the vastness before me not only in terms of land, but in the people and their actions. I was able to see how both interacted and intertwined. Everything was clear for a little while. Even though I was not able to enjoy the whole thing, it was still an astonishing experience. To this day, I am not sure what overcame me, but I know that I would never like to feel that “dead” again.

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